Clear the Wreckage from the Blast

Summer camps. Beach trips. New York City. Hawaii. California. 5Ks. Internships. Those are just some of the things I wish I was doing this summer. The thing is,  I had really big plans for this summer. I was going to become a part of a very prestigious program and start college early at my dream school. I have wanted this since my junior year of high school. It was unlike anything else my peers wanted.

My plan was going perfectly...until I didn't get in the program. 

You see, I had never wanted something so much in my entire life. It was a great program that was attached to scholarships, abroad opportunities, internships, and the chance to become proficient in a critical language. It was perfect. 

The day I got rejected (or well, days, because it took them a few days to get back to me), I was a nervous wreck. I didn't know what to want anymore. It was the first thing that was my own. My friends had academics, athletics, and an abundance of activities. I had invested so much time, effort, and heart. I wrote four different essays, hoping each one would win me a spot in the program.  

Right now, I can't help but feel an incredible loss. I can't help but wish things happened differently, but I made a promise to myself this summer. I promised that I wouldn't live in the past, even if the past was just yesterday. I promised to never stop going. I promised that I would no longer hold onto people things that have broken me.

I'm ready for my life to begin. 

I now realize that some things are out of your control. You can't make admissions counselors admit you. More importantly, though, you can't change the past. You just have to keep moving, and trust that God really has the best plan for you. Jeremiah+2911 

This fall, I am attending the University of Alabama-Birmingham, possibly the best public school in the state. I will have opportunities to study abroad, learn other languages, and explore big city culture. God has a reason for me to be here, and I've learned that despite what I think, His plan is so much better than mine. He wants me to explore all the opportunities in big city life that I wouldn't have received in Oxford. Think of all the different people, places, and circumstance that I can use to spread His love. Think of being surrounded by those people from other cultures, not just learning about them. 

What if our dreams could only come true if they changed?