Siempre Solo

We are all waiting for something. We are waiting for the weekend. We are waiting on love. We are waiting on our chance to have that something or someone that inspires us.

This morning, my mother called me while I was leaving the gym, and decided I needed some love advice. She told me, if you're not getting your heart broken, you're not really living. It was the summer that she vowed to not have any emotional attachments that she met my dad. A friend introduced her to a grungy guy with soft hair, and she claims it only took two weeks to know that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with this man.

Thirty-two years, four kids, one grandson, and a few dozen houses later, she's still with this man. They haven't had the most functional relationship, but they cannot live without each other.

Every time you open up to someone, you are opening yourself up to acceptance or rejection. The hard part is that we never know which it will be. Lately, though, it feels as if my life and the lives of my girlfriends are one giant scene from "He's Just Not That Into You."

Not all of my friends encompass the open-book persona that I do. A good friend of mine doesn't open up to anyone, ever. However, there always manages to be some guy that turns our "I would never" to "I really shouldn't have." Last weekend, she stayed up all night with a guy she barely knew just talking. It was a night of firsts for her-- she even ended up making him breakfast.

It was one of those idealistic freshman love moments that you always see in the movies. To her, it was monumental. But to him? It was just another Saturday night. She doesn't talk about her family, or what she really wants out of life. She did what she swore she'd never do, and she got nothing out of it. Now this guy is barely talking to her, and she found out he had a taste of someone else's...um, bacon.

Another close friend of mine recently met a really awesome guy, or so he appeared. He was chivalrous and he took her on actual dates. They'd watch movies and cuddle together and he would text her all day long "just to talk." They'd grab lunch between classes and he sought to see her every chance he could. That was, until he decided to randomly stop texting her and get back with his ex.

These are two of the most beautiful and wise women I have ever met in my life (I mean, they're friends with me, what do you expect?). However, things never seem to work out for them.

My best friend always says to me, "Rissa, it's going to happen for you, and when it does, it'll be real." And I'm always like, okay, cool, thanks, ain't nobody got time for emotions. The last time I met a nice guy, she said to me, "you deserve this." And you know what? I do. I do deserve for something to work out. And so do my friends.

There's a line in an episode of the Canadian television show Instant Star in which the main character says, "I'm so tired of falling for guys that don't fall back. It hurts.You all say the nicest things. You're so great, you're so nice, but none of you want to date me! So you wanna help me? Tell me what I do wrong. Tell me why I'm so easy to give up, and maybe I can fix it! "

Aren't we all tired? Tired of the mixed signals? Tired of hearing "you're so pretty"? Tired of being charmed by someone who seemed to care but didn't? Tired of thinking that maybe, just maybe he's different?

You know what? AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT.

No one has the time or the energy to sit and contemplate what someone could possibly mean, or what the hidden message is.

This is the first time I've ever said this, but my mom was right. You have to make time for it. You have to make time for those who may take your heart and throw it into a blender (figuratively, just to be clear). You have to keep putting yourself out there because someone, somewhere out there is glad that it didn't work out with Mr. Sketchy Text or Kiss and Run McGee.

43% of Americans over the age of 18 are single. Now this doesn't weed out the crazies, the gays, the emotionally unavailable, and the generally undateable, but some of these people live in your city, and just might be looking for love too.

Discloser: I do not endorse or suggest putting out a personal ad. It could end badly.