Just Say No

In tenth grade, as a treat for passing our grad exam, most of my class was invited to eat pizza watch Yes Man. The character played by Jim Carey attends a conference that encourages him to say yes to every opportunity that comes his way. Besides having an awkward encounter with an elderly woman and giving all his money to a homeless man, saying yes changed his life in a quite positive way.

No offense to Jim Carey, but I have found that this semester, a different word has changed my life--no.

I have always been a "yes" person. One of my best friends once told me that I am always down for an adventure. Marissa, do you want to go to this party hosted by this person you never met? Sure. Want to leave for a roadtrip in twenty minutes? Why not? Want to (insert a variety of activities that I do not want to be publicly associated with)? Absolutely.

It's not that these things got me into trouble, necessarily. They just began to wear me out.

It was exhausting to always be on the go. I was tired of not sleeping. I was tired of being best friends with everyone. I was tired of taking any and every opportunity available to me. I was tired of throwing myself into relationships (romantic and platonic) where I gave so much more than I got.

Don't get me wrong--none of these things are bad things. I am so blessed to have had the opportunities I have had in my life, but it got a little old.

Saying no has given me a chance to sleep, a chance to breathe, and a chance to fall in love again. Not romance exactly, but it has refreshed me so that I am now able to fall in love with myself and the plethora of things I was once passionate about.

Saying no to the occasional party has given me the chance to not only gain more sleep on Thursday nights, but also some alone time. When you deprive yourself of alone time, how are you going to figure out your life? How are you going to be able to listen to yourself when you are constantly surrounded by other people?

I must admit that this semester has been a little lonely, but I can't say I mind. I've gotten an "A" on every test I've taken. I've found that running cures my anxiety. I even decided to publish an e-book.

When other people stopped consuming my life and my thoughts, I was able to hear my own voice loud and clear. I was finally able to differentiate between what other people wanted from me, and what I actually wanted from myself. I found that you can be your own best friend, or your own enemy....I'm choosing the former.

For me saying no was about intrapersonal communication. I was always good at saying no to other people, but never very good at turning myself down. I believe that our biggest struggle in life is from within. The only way we can conquer that is through self-discipline.

I believe that we are all caught between the person we are and the person we want to be.

We may never fully get there, and I don't think we should want to. I think we should be constantly striving to be better and the first step is saying no. Saying no to the things that are bad for us. Saying no to the things that make us fat. Saying no to the things that break our hearts.

Only when we begin to say no can we truly say yes to the person we want to become.