I glance at my watch as I scurry out of the library bathroom holding my heels, dress, and badge. Three hours until my study room expires--I've better get started on the to-do list that only seemed to accumulate over the weekend.
It's time to finally set my routine into place. Recruitment is over and I can't make excuses anymore. I look at my Lilly Pulitzer agenda and figure out where to begin and how to assimilate my new "normal."
On paper, nothing is different. I still had chapter tonight at six. I started my Saturday running errands with one of my best friends and ended it celebrating the night with some of my favorite fraternities. I'm writing instead of working on my homework and eating a protein bar as my "dinner."
My "normal" has changed not within my routine, but within myself.
I stopped chasing people who put in minimal effort in the relationship.
I'm the kind of girl who can make friends with a brick wall (just ask my recruitment adviser). I get lost at parties because I end up saying hi to everyone I have met in the last two years. I consider five or six people my "best friend." I give away myself to people easily...and I expect others to do the same.
Unfortunately, though, life does not work like that--and it shouldn't.
Relationships are not a novelty meant to be accumulated and then left to collect dust on a shelf. I've began to start looking at my relationships in terms of quality rather than quantity. As I'm getting older, I'm realizing that you simply cannot give yourself to everyone and everything because then there will be nothing left for you. The concept of minimalism is not about having less stuff, but rather about giving things up so that you can focus on what you care about the most.
The irony is that as soon as I began to let these relationships go, I began to feel a lot less lonely.
On this Sunday night, I am not crying over the relationships I've given up or will never have. I'm choosing to celebrate the ones that are still here, the people who have fought to be in my life. I look at my sorority sisters who would do anything to see me happy. I think of my best friend who, no matter how busy her week is, she will always drop what she's doing to have coffee or brunch with me. I think of my biological sister who would probably kill someone to defend my honor. I think of the girl who has been my best friend for my entire college and can only smile because she has witnessed all the stories that only Jesus should know about.
Whatever this new normal will look like, I know that I am loved. And honestly? That's enough.
Here's a cheesy country song to tie together all the feels:
