More Than We Appear

When we're young, we're all dreamers. We all want to be astronauts, pop stars, and firemen. What happens when we grow up, though? When do we stop believing anything is possible?

It spurs somewhere around adolescence. We start hearing the whispers—“you’re too fat,” “you’re too skinny,” “you’re too stupid,” “you’re too weird,” “you’re too ugly,” “you’re too tall.” It doesn’t take long for us to start believing these whispers—each one shouting “you’re not good enough.”

Some of us become a little more secure as we age, but the whispers are still here. If there’s one thing you should know about me (besides the fact that I’m a Gemini and a bacon enthusiast) it's that I’m really into self-improvement. I don’t understand people who want their life to stay the same.

I’m always searching for the next way to make myself prettier, or smarter, or more well-rounded. Whether it’s a new book club or a new face scrub, I’m always hoping to be better.

The problem is that most of us are like this. We are all looking for the next best thing. We are seeking an easier, faster way to lose weight when all it really takes is a trip to the gym and healthy eating.

Slowly but surely, we begin to fall in love with ideas. We start fantasizing about who we could be. We want to be the kind of person who runs every morning—but in reality we hate running. We want careers that makes money—but are in subjects we are not only terrible at, but we despise.

UAB is known for its medical system. I’m not sure what the statistics are, but I would guess that 40% of first semester freshman are pre-med. After that first semester, literally, half of them change their concentrations. It’s not just that the classes are too challenging (though Bio and Chem humble many aspiring doctors), but when the reality sets in, our mindsets begin to change.

A year ago, I never would have thought that I’d change my major or question whether or not, I actually wanted to be a politician. Here I am, though, questioning if I actually want to go to law school, or if I just like the idea of it.

I find myself doing this with relationships as well. I wouldn’t say I have a “type” per se, but my friends have noticed that I have a thing for military guys, guitar players, and gingers. I want a guy who believes bacon should be eaten with every meal, Third Eye Blind was the second best band of the 20th century, and that cats are creepy.

But love doesn’t work that way. You don't fall in love with an idea; you fall in love with a person. When you allow yourself to fall in love with an idea, you could end up cherishing something that might not even be there. You may end up losing out on something wonderful because it doesn’t fit your idea of love…or your dream career.

I’m not saying that we should stop dreaming…not at all. We have to acknowledge, though, that just because our dreams are changing does not mean the world is going to end. It does not mean that we are settling. It simply means that we are mature enough to know that sometimes what we thought we wanted isn’t what we really want.