Mazel Tov

New Year's Eve. 2013 is finally on its way here. We all survived the Mayan Apocalypse, now all we have to worry about are the zombies.

I'm really bad with New Year's resolutions. Actually, I'm really good at making them; I'm just really bad at keeping them, but then again, most of us are. We all want to lose weight, improve relationships, and better ourselves in some way.

Last night, a friend of mine told me that 2012 was the first year she had completed all her resolutions. When she told me this, I was genuinely happy for her. However, it caused me to take a second at my last twelve months, and I don't know if it's one to be proud of.

I've made numerous mistakes this year (check out some of my blogs from this semester to get more  insight). Many of these mistakes had serious consequences, which caused me to grow up a little--actually, I had to grow up a lot.

This year, I'm going to turn 20. I guess that makes an adult, or that it means I'm starting this journey.

Now, I just have to figure out what that means and how that's supposed to look in my life. Does being an adult mean working an 8-5? Does it mean wearing a pencil skirt? Does it mean avoiding parties? Does it mean going to bed and waking up earlier?

I think being an adult means realizing that you can't always do what feels good. It's about so much more than not doing something. It's realizing that you can't be the person you want to or need to be without changing how you live your life.

I think that maturity is realizing that everything worth having will take hard work. It isn't the decision that makes us mature, but how we live out that decision. Discipline is how we become an adult, how we become our own savior.

My New Year's resolution isn't really a resolution. It's a choice. I'm choosing to love myself and respect myself enough to become the person I strive to be. I'm resolving to do all the things that will transform me into the person I've wanted to be, and to try the things I've always wanted to do.

Happy New Year! I wish that whatever it brings, you make decisions and memories that, a year from now, you can look fondly back at.