As much as I love these lyrics, I don't know if I have enough pride to rise right now, especially not in front of my Creator. The irony? It's because of my pride that I'm ashamed.
Lately, I have just thought I was awesome. I thought, Marissa, man, you're great. I should have been thinking, Marissa, man, you're blessed. At this moment, though, I don't feel very awesome. I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed that I haven't thought of the end. All I can think of is right now. What would feel good right now? What would be fun right now?
I read a book a few months ago called Under the Overpass. It's a nonfiction account of a young Christian who chooses to be on America's streets for about five months. In it, Mike (the main character) meets a Christian (which is rare on the streets) who is pained by his personal sin. He struggles with alcoholism, and he literally gets on his knees and cries out to the Lord, seeking redemption for his sin. Mike asks himself why doesn't his own sin pain him like that.
I, like Mike, don't struggle with addiction, but I wish I could see my sin as God sees it. I pray that when I sinned, I wouldn't make excuses. I wouldn't tell myself "God will understand" or "it's not as bad as"... I pray that when I sin, I will fall on my knees and seek reconciliation with my Lord.
This is my prayer for you. This is my prayer for Mike. This is my prayer for myself.
This is why, I believe, we need the poor and why we're called to be with them. They teach us about our own poverty.
ReplyDeleteAmen, Jeff. I'm hoping that living in a city will continue to open my eyes.
ReplyDelete