Climbing Mountains

"Marissa, just press send."

Last night, my roommate Marianne and I were taking a break from living la vida loca to partake in a dreaded task that every study abroad student must eventually face--that we are actually still in school. Googling internships and configuring summer jobs, we both acknowledged that there were some things we needed to configure for the future. Even worse, there were some things I had not yet figured out from the past.

With a little encouragement, I decided it was time to finally fix a situation that I had put off for far too long. There was a reason I had put off emailing my professor for almost a year--I was scared. The fear of the possible negative outcome was far worse to me than the fear of never knowing.

Gypsy Cave close-up

This past Sunday, I climbed a mountain...literally. I did so in my monogrammed jacket, Spirit Jersey, with my Lilly camera case in tow (that perfectly matched my croakies) but I did it. I went on a 5-hour hike in the outskirts of Granada amongst the gyspy villages.

During the first five minutes, I thought I was done. We had four sets of staircases before we even got on our trail. I thought about saying "Adios" to my friends and walking myself back home for a siesta. I knew I couldn't though. I came to Spain to challenge myself. What was the point of being here if I leave unchanged? 

I took a few "throw what you know" landscape pictures, adventurously wandered into gypsy caves, and even created a few trails of my own. I feigned confidence as we scaled down the muddy side of the mountain when we had reached a dead end. We spent hours figuring out if and how we were going to get off the mountain.  When we finally were on flat land, I had a pride I had never quite experienced. Part of me wanted to sing "Survivor" by Destiny's Child.

Throw What You Know

I'm glad I confronted this fear. Not because it was another story to tell or photo to share, but because there is a peace you can only receive in the outdoors, a level of self-awareness that can only be found in the wild. Even more so, there is a confidence that can only come from staring your fear in the face. When you study abroad, every single day is an adventure. Not because of the mountains you climb, or the bars you go to, or the exotic cities you explore. Even the most mundane activities become foreign, even if it is just trying to find your way home after going for a run in an unfamiliar part of town.

Gyspy Caves

Our dreams will always be more colorful and more challenging than we had imagined and our fears will always be smaller and less important than we ever thought. Each night while going for a run, I wonder what trials and tribulations I will face in the next day. As I see the sun set on the peaks of the Sierra Nevada, I cannot help but be a little hopeful.

So last night I asked myself, "Why are you scared of sending an email?"