Quiet Corners on County Roads

I look out the window of my high school bedroom and see the sun setting through the trees in my backyard. I think of all the memories I had down at that little creek. I think of when my little brother and I discovered the bamboo forest. I think of the day my eighth grade crush asked me to his girlfriend on the back of his 4-wheeler. I think of the times I "slept on the trampoline" because I believed that it's not really sneaking out if you're already outside...Sorry, Daddy.

I always forget how quiet it is here. There are no sirens or helicopters. There aren't people playing  music in the hallway all night. You won't hear anyone say, "Turn down for what!" on this county road. It's more like "Turn down or else" when my brother plays Call of Duty at full volume. Or my sister singing Jewel lyrics while her boyfriend laughs. Or only my bloodhound scratching at the door because I have stolen "her bed" for the week. 

In the quiet, you can't be distracted as easily. In Florence, I'm not constantly yielding texting from friends trying to plan a lunch or coffee date. I'm not listening to my roommate vent about school. I'm not killing time before another engagement--I have all the time in the world to concentrate. 

Conveniently, finals are coming up and I have a ton of homework that needs my focus. However, after a couple of hours, though, my mind starts to wander. What-ifs start to consume my thoughts. What if it doesn't all work out? What if you should have gone done this path? What if you should be doing something better with your time? With your life? 

It is easy to be sad. It is easy to let your thoughts . It is easy to let the wind and the sea pull you away. It is easy to stop fighting and allow yourself to be dragged away by the current. Pretty soon, you find out you're drowning. The fight is five times harder and you realize this might really be the end. You lie in bed with your sad songs, aching memories, and messages that prove the broken relationships you are leaving behind.

Who wants to live like that? Who wants to ache? I guess the ideal answer would be no one, but that isn't really true. Sometimes we want to hurt, sometimes we need to hurt, but mostly, we just need to change the station. We need to find something to make us smile and realize that these thoughts are not reality. These thoughts are not what defines us or who we have to be. These thoughts are nothing more than fleeting moments in our lives. 

In high school, I was quite the dreamer. I read every single day. I would lie in bed planning out how the rest of my life would compare to the the lives of the characters I'd read about. I watched movies that inspired me to go after my dreams. I wrote about five or six half-finished novellas. For five years, I embraced the quiet and the took full advantage of the opportunities it gave me. I have faith that I can relearn this discipline. I have faith that I can remember what it was like to dream, to create, and to simply be.

We have to learn to embrace the quiet and  the things it teaches us. We have to notice that in these softer moments in life, we are given an opportunity to create something new. We are able to create a world for ourselves in literature, in writing, or a time of peace by simply sitting down by the creek. The only thing that matters is that we are the ones creating it and not being controlled by one. stupid. thought. 

*Image found on Google Images, but does look fairly similar to my creek.