Me, Whatever that Implies

Two weeks ago, a friend said to me, "oh, are you really religious or something? I never would have guessed that."

Ouch. Needless to say, I've been feeling a little bit convicted.
 
This semester, I've been distracted. Distracted from what is really important to me and who I really am. I've barely been to church. I've barely seen some of the most inspirational people in my life. I've barely written. I've barely made time to call either of my brothers. I haven't visited home.

This weekend is my half-birthday. I'm almost twenty. I guess this makes me an adult, and I guess I should start living like it.

Thanksgiving break was a sort of "Come to Jesus" time for me, both literally and figuratively. Being outside the city for five days, away from the daily grind really helped put things into perspective for me.
Lately, my life has reminded me of that Toby Mac song, "I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul." Sure, I didn't gain the world. I've gained many friends, experiences, and bad habits though.

I'm tired of waiting for my life to begin. I'm tired of diets that start "tomorrow." I'm tired of planning to go to church, but then being too tired. I'm tired of my own excuses.

"This is your life. Are you who you wanna be? Is it everything that you dreamed that it would be then the world was younger and you had everything to lose?"

Is it? I know my life isn't. Or at least, it hasn't been. This week I've already started changing. I've been working out, reading my bible, and saying no.

I can't live my life based on a fear of missing out. That's not really living. That's not choosing yes because I'm not choosing. I'm letting fear choose.

And now, I'm letting go. I'm letting go of the people and the things that hold me back from being who I want to be, who I can be, who I will be.

Life's too short, brah.