The Brilliant Dance

All my life I have found it easy to encourage, to inspire, to ignite. All my life, I have found out that for some crazy reason, I know what to say and how to say it. I know how to make people breathe and I know how to make people think. I know how to shout and how to whisper. I know how to be heard.

The past six months have been a whirlwind for me. I started college and I changed, dramatically. Honestly,  I barely know the girl who walked into Camp Hall in August. I started becoming the person I had always wanted to be. Somewhere in making my dreams come true, I abandoned the one thing that made me breathe, the one thing that made me feel. I stopped writing. And somehow not writing turned into not having passion. I stopped wanting things because I was slowly obtaining everything I had thought I wanted.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not lazy, but I am a procrastinator. And lately, I've procrastinated passion. I've been so concerned with being busy and being someone that I haven't made time to be me. Sure, life takes dedication. It takes, not only, ambition, but drive as well to achieve your dreams, but you cannot lose yourself in that.

God willing, I will be a politician one day. Politicians and college kids have a lot in common. They start off with one goal, usually idealistic, and somewhere, somehow, it all goes wrong. They say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. Say it ain't so. 

During midterms last semester, I called my brother upset because I hated my Spanish class. I hated Spanish because I was struggling at something I used to be great at. He told me that no skill that you used to have matters. No one cares that you used to know Spanish. No one cares if you used to be a good person. No one cares if you used to get good grades. They care who you are know and who you are trying to be.

No one cares that I used to be a good writer. I can't put that on my resume. I can't get into law school with an annotation that says "I swear I can write better; I just need to find myself again." No one cares what a politician enters the game as. No one cares that he or she claims to believe in something. The public barely sees their platforms, but their actions instead.

I don't want to be a face without substance. I don't want to be a politician without a stance. 

...I want to be a person of integrity, who believes, cries, and yearns for things. I want to be a passionate writer who cannot stop, who will not stop.

I want to be me. And I write.