Speaking the Words

Writing is the hardest thing for me. Right now, I'm looking at my computer, begging to do anything but write. I'm even willing to do my pre-calculus homework. The funny thing is--sometimes it's hard to do the things we love. I'm not talking about texting or Facebook, or any other guilty pleasure. I'm talking about the things that compose the very fibers of our being. 

When I write, people expect me to be profound. They tell me I have a gift; they tell me I'm wise beyond my years. They tell me all the things I've been dying to hear. The things that make me feel elated, things that make me realize my purpose in the world. How ironic, but that's exactly when I have to stop. 

See, I do this weird thing where I make it impossible for myself to become comfortable. When I think become too adept with something, I flee. If I stay on Facebook too long, I won't let myself go on for a few days, I constantly throw away "unnecessary material objects." My mom thinks I'm a big sack of crazy, but I think it's just good to let go. When I went to Costa Rica in 2009, someone told me that it's not that God doesn't work when you're comfortable, but He works so much more when you're uncomfortable. 


In Costa Rica, my life changed. I experienced True Love for the first time. I *slept with strangers. I watched the sun rise in the middle of a broken street. I hiked the tallest mountain I'd ever seen. I wiped out in the middle of a rain forest. I slid through a muddy, hollow tree. 

I did thousands of things I never would have done at home. Things that were scary, confusing, and hard to admit. When I left, I was just an American teenager, but when I got home I was changed. I had become a great explorer, a missionary, a vagabond, even if just for a little while. The strangest part was that home didn't feel like home anymore. Honestly, I was anything but comfortable. 


My hope for you is that you can find the balance I can't seem to find. Fervently pursue the things you love, but never become comfortable. You have to change to change yourself. 


*meant in a literal, not sexual context