Help!

Things are revealed to us in the most unexpected ways, aren't they? For the past few months, I have been sitting on my butt wondering hour after hour, what was I going to do with myself this summer. I looked for absolutely every opportunity I could have accepted. First, I wanted to go to a ritzy acting camp, then there was singing lessons, then early scholar classes and of course, various plays. Crazy enough, none of my ideas went as planned. I figured well, I'll just have to get a job like every other high schooler, but I feared that. I feared normality.

About a month ago, while talking to my brother about desiring to be busy this summer, he suggested to me a mission trip. I told him I'd look into it, but honestly, I didn't take him seriously. Yes, I loved God, but my own selfishness was in the way. A week later, I did look up those mission trips he was referring to, and knew it was time.

I'm asking for help, but until I help others, I can't help myself.

I can't just keep saying I want to make the world a better place. I can't just keep planning for the future. I have to think about right now. What if I die tomorrow? Would I want to be remembered as the girl who didn't want to save the world until it was convenient? I took some time to really think and pray about it and I realized this was what I wanted.

My brother told me he could see a desire in me to help others, and he's right, that desire is here. It is streaming through every one of my veins. It is shouting, don't wait any longer. With every heart beat, I know what I have to do. God puts passions into our heart for a reason, does He not? If you don't use it, you lose it, right?